A picture is worth a thousand words, but these spoilt brats are worth millions of dollars thanks to their rich parents and plush trust funds. While most of us take pains to appear likeable through our instagram feeds, the following 8 individuals completely wipe away any veneer of humbleness by garishly bragging about their monstrous wealth and superior lifestyles.
Maybe instragram gives them the attention they desperately crave from their emotionally distant parents, or perhaps they’re so coddled in a bubble of privilege they’re completely unaware of their obnoxious online behaviour. Either way, they’re the 1% we love to hate, and in no particular order I give you the 8 biggest douchebags on instagram.
8. Fluffy Benzalo aka @LoadedDawg
A purebred Chihuahua party boy who never misses the chance to flaunt his debaucherous lifestyle. Fluffy Benzalo loves posting pics of himself with wads of Benjamins and frequently boast about doing it “doggy style" with his "bitches” on his private yacht. This lap dog was born into luxury as the lovechild of ex-supermodel Cynthia Cabello and shipping magnate Tony Benzalo. Constantly in the pound for public urination, Fluffy will never learn his lesson as long as his billionaire father keeps bailing him out.
7. New York Socialites aka @PamparedPoodleSisters
With no sense of irony, they call themselves the @PamperedPoodleSisters and their instagram is just an unadulterated stream of designer shopping outings and road trips to the Hamptons. As they are all nearsighted and colourblind, they are constantly responsible for horrendous car accidents, but rarely suffer any repercussions thanks to their high-profile Wall Street daddies who pay out the victims.
6. Edward Gregory the 3rd aka @Royal&Flush
Bringing new technology to old money, Edward Charles Richard William Francis Gregory the 3rd is heir apparent to the Earl of Swinton. This kitty was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and no sense of restraint when it comes to parading his rich bloodline’s wealth on social media. He had his ears surgically removed so he wouldn’t have to hear the "insufferable bleating of the lower classes” who he frequently refers to as “filthy peasants” and “provincial riffraff.”
5. Madame Flopsy aka @$Bunny_With_The_Money$
PR heavyweight Madam Flopsy likes to snap selfies of herself hopping about the green pastures of Beverly Hills and shopping high-end retail at Rodeo Drive. While we do give her credit for being the only self made millionaire on the list, she gets a special douchebag mention after being found guilty for slave labor when she refused to pay employees, then burrowing underground to escape authorities and avoid prosecution.
4. Sweetheart aka @RichzShitz
When she’s not racially abusing her maid or under house arrest for narcotic offences, Sweetheart is partying it up across the globe, calling out any “basic bitches” who can't afford her taste in top shelf champagne and gold flaked cocktails. Never sober after midday, Sweetheart always finds the most expensive Persian rug in the house to throw up on.
3. Cornelia Enright aka @LushPinkLady
Can pigs fly? They sure can – in private jets with foot spas and a personal masseuse. Cordelia Enright is up to her teats in cash thanks to her billionaire mining father Ronald Enright. While most of us are desperately trying to save our pennies, this piggy bank is splashing cash, constantly posting about her globe hoofing lifestyle and rummaging about in the dumpsters of the worlds most expensive resorts.
2. Fanny Babikov aka @FannyDelight
Fanny Babikov is one smug pug that doesn’t hold back when it comes to grunting and snorting about her extravagant lifestyle all over instagram. Her feed is littered with posts about the many horse ranches her family own from the Napa Valley to the French Riviera. However her love of equine only goes as far as the dressage arena. Any horse that doesn’t make the grade is shipped off to her father’s glue factory, which has a monopoly on adhesives in Russia and Czechoslovakia.
1. Jarod Bakker aka @TRUTH^HURTS14/88
The bad boy Guinea pig whose posts are as bizarre as they are narcissistic. The illegitimate son of Dutch telecommunications ‘BAKTel’ founder, Jarod has fascist and paranoid tendencies that he espouses all over his instagram. Believing himself “the second Kanye”, he alludes to stockpiling weapons for what he says will be the inevitable “peasants revolt.” Jarod hasn’t posted since earlier this year when he suffered a massive brain injury after crashing his jet ski into a walrus.